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"A question from the Agnostics,"read the e-mail to our friends of faith, "what kind of gift is typically given at a Baptism?’ P & I were honored to have received the formal invitation, completely in espanol, white custom cardstock replete with white ribbon and little gold cross, inviting us to Baby J’s baptism. We’ve been adopted by some families just as we have adopted others’ into ours, and el familia Gonzalez has hosted us many times. When P and I were dating, we spent a Christmas eve there, and left stuffed with tamales and bearing posadas. Surely taking me to a Mexican home won him brownie points with me as I practiced my language skills and they humored me by proclaiming I was either half Mexican or was in Mexico in a past life.
Now there was to be a formal church ceremony, and then a reception banquet, all for familia and close friends only. Our answer to every occasion with kids is usually "red envelope" with $$ but who knew…
I received e-mails advising me not to send more bibles to this baby, the relatives would take care of that. Mi querida bella Monica en Los Angeles advised: "You can get something from his favorite patron saint." Hmmm. But I don’t know who in heck is his patron saint. I myself am partial to St. Francis but that’s because he’s good to animals which surely is not relevant at the Bautizo?
Monica also recommended a religious store that was frequented by Bob Hope. Alas, I’m no longer an Angeleno, and frankly, I belong in a religious supply store about as much as I do a Hooters "restaurant" or an Amish barn-raising.
In the end, we were furnished with a child friendly red envelope from my office spouse that featured Winne the Poo and Piglet decked out in chinese outfits (copyright violations, anyone?) Heck, no one can go wrong with dinero right?
Next step: Getting dressed. I’ve been to the wedding of Baby J’s folks, and I know the crowd will be fashionista royalty. After all, Daddy was a Structure model once upon a time. But this IS a religious event so I don’t want to commit any faux paux either (such as our friend who showed up in Catholic church in a slinky, strapless, red dress which practically screamed out loud: "SINNER!") I try on clothes and P is given the responsibility of sin-checking. "Too loud? cleavage? panty line? too casual? too stuffy?" We go with something sedate yet slim, with crocheted, lacy sleeves that P deems appropriately "kinda Latin." Right. I should channel my inner Frida.
The reception is the real deal. Wedding-looking cake, framed portrait of baby J at the door, white streamers and glittery cross decor everywhere, white Feliz bautizo balloons, and Baby J himself in a beaded, beribboned bonnet and white christening ensemble. A live band specializing in the regional, traditional music of Baby J’s madre charges in like a marching band (un regalo sorpresa that Daddy G. got for the occasion). We enjoy an hour of musica that is like mariachi music except louder, less hornsy, and features a clarinet.
"This is so nice." We sit in the shady gazebos and listen to live music, chilling out. I anticipate a polite lunch chatting with families. And what beautiful families! Moms who look like the sisters of their daughters, dark eyed guys with hats who bring delighted smiles to both toddlers and grandMoms with their dancing, and each young woman there, including baby J’s mum, more striking than the next. We feel a tad awkward. It’s so formal, white floral centerpieces on each table, silverware and wineglasses. After the band leaves the DJ kicks in.
Hmmm. I begin to get an inkling that perhaps this is a fiesta normal, not a sedate baby party. There are women in satin, skintight, Beyonce-stage worthy get ups, and stiletto heels galore. Camera-worthy Make up jobs applied by serious pros. Then Baby J’s tia (auntie) grabs my arm while P is away in the loo, "Come on, come inside with us."
I smile at this gorgeous lady in the one-shouldered dress, "Ok!"
"Come do a shot with us!"
"huh…?! isn’t it kind of early for that…?"
Thus begins an afternoon of giant double shots of Don Julio.
Followed by YUM, Comidas Mexicano, and more shots before we can escape. All the Ladies advise me to go on YouTube and look up Alejandro Fernandez, and consider going with them to his concert in San Jose this year. I tell P we ought to hire the Dj so we can have a Reggaeton party of our own.
So.
Now we know. Bautizo is a warm family gathering for religious purpose, about a precious baby and his relationship with his family’s God, and the love of a huge extended familia.
It is also a place where red envelopes are appropriate, where even agnostic Chinos are welcomed warmly, and next time we attend (Baby J’s folks want another 2 or 3 ninos) Tia H and Tio P will come more prepared to hold their liquor, wear their party clothes, and toast the proud parents.
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